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A Cheesy Contest

I came across this quote:

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."  ~G. K. Chesterton

"Aha!" I told myself.  "I'll bet there are some poets out there who could write a poem about cheese. "

"You're right," I answered myself.  "Let's have a contest and invite Friends to come up with an original poem about that stuff."

And so (drum roll, please!) submission deadline will be next Sunday, June 22!  One whole week to think, rhyme, write, and submit, all the while nibbling on your subject for inspiration. 

Oops, I almost forgot!  The winner will get a signed copy of Cork and Fuzz.

Cheddar, brie, Swiss, and limburger lovers, post your entries here!


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 15th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
what a nice contest! :))
Jun. 15th, 2008 07:33 pm (UTC)
I never thought that I would squeeze
Anything as sweet as cheese
Between my teeth and on my lips
Squishy through my fingertips
I swish it on crackers
I sweep it on toast
I put it on everything
I love the most
Because I never ever squeeze
Anything as sweet as cheese
Even my little puppy Dudley
Even ducklings that are cuddly
Even chocolate from the store
Nothing makes me say, More more!
Because I never taste or squeeze
Anything as SWEET AS CHEESE!
Jun. 15th, 2008 08:10 pm (UTC)
You are good! (And speedy!) LOL
Jun. 17th, 2008 01:51 am (UTC)
pass the cheese
both the yellow and the white
and the one with little peppers,
say, that walnut roll looks nice-
not the stinky oozy beige one
that you like to spread on toast
or the one with bluish veins that look like
Great-Aunt Sarah's nose.
Pass the Chedda and the Feta
Mozzarella and the Bree
'cause I need to get some calcium
I'm taking care of me.

Jun. 17th, 2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
Fellow Wisconsin writer, Pat, sent me this:

The high school in Monroe, Wisconsin uses the
nickname the Cheesemakers. I've always wondered what
their cheerleaders chant during basketball
games. Maybe something like:

We're the team that just can't miss.
Go, Cheese!
Jun. 17th, 2008 02:39 pm (UTC)
Plea from a small mouse willing to trade his entire cheese stock for a new book:

Won’t you take my gouda, miss?
Perhaps this plate of brie?
Would you like a cheddar wedge?
Wait – I’ll give you three!

You can have my pound of swiss
My cheese ball – it’s port wine.
Why? Because you have a book
I'd really like for mine.

Jun. 17th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
Hi, Dori! I actually wrote this sonnet in 1995 and sent it to a web site called CheeseNet that featured some mostly silly "cheese literature" as well as real information about cheese. They put it on their web site and sent me a cheese sticker as payment. It was on their site for several years, but that site doesn't exist anymore. So, this may not count for your contest since it's been previously "published," but I thought I'd share it with you anyway!

The Canon and the Can
by Alison Dellenbaugh

In the market stands a wall of cheese,
Imposing in its solidarity.
Muenster, Feta, Roquefort form a frieze,
With ev'ry canonized variety.
The Gouda, sitting haughty on the shelf,
Framed strikingly by Camembert and Brie,
Taunts me as I stand there by myself,
An outcast, as my favored cheese must be.
For I am not a member of the clan
Who buys these lauded cheeses, these elite;
Who shuns the cheese that squirts out of a can,
The cheese that's shelved in exile near canned meat.
And as the forlorn spray cheese stands alone,
So I, who humbly claim it as my own.

Edited at 2008-06-17 07:57 pm (UTC)
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:06 am (UTC)
Cheese Contest
AS a child I must say that I did so prefer
Motzarella or String Cheese - not Brick or Muenster.
As I look back I wonder as I reminisce...
Where was my appreciation of Aged Baby Swiss?
I try to recall but my memory falls short.
Did I never taste Feta or Brie or Roquefort?
Once American Cheese lost it's favor with me
I learned to love the flavor of Longhorn Colby.
And when I was young I was quite unaware
Of the wonderful texture of fine Camembert.
Since my days of "Squeeze Cheese" my horizons have grown
To include both Ricotta and mild Provalone.
Like fine wine and good cheese - with age you get better.
You savor great Gouda or Goat Cheese or Cheddar.
Now I really can say with my "grown-up" expertise
There is no better taste than a Wisconsin Cheese!
Jun. 20th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
From Wisconsin writer, Peggy T.

"Velveeta Tootay"

Velveeta Tootay found the Cheddar Café,

renowned for spectacular cheese.

She swayed as she grazed on the cheesy array,

chanting, "More! Bring me more pretty please!"

She shoveled and stuffed - from the sliced to the

sampling Nacho, Gouda and Goat.

The Cheddar Café' loved Velveeta Tootay

until the moment she started to bloat.

A sense of unease made her freeze, made her

as she desperately tried to prevent

the entire café from discovering exactly

what "Lactose Intolerance" meant.

Poor Velveeta Tootay.

She cleared the café

in a record wind-breaking way.

Now, the Cheddar Café' boasts a banner today,

"Velveeta Tootay - Stay Away!"
Jun. 20th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
Another entry from Kathryn G.

The Cheese and Me

pass the cheese
if you please

yes the cheese
that fat tease

I want cheese
not those peas

mix the cheese
with the tea

stuff the cheese
in the trees

see the cheese
dance with leaves

hear the cheese
laugh with glee

smell the cheese
what a breeze

make the cheese
come in please

roll the cheese
hear it whee

pat the cheese
til at ease

slice the cheese
this I plea

chomp the cheese
feel it squeeze

I know cheese

keep the cheese
from babies

store the cheese
never freeze

ignore the cheese?
it draws fleas

hug the cheese
it won't wheeze

name the cheese

can the cheese
bring on peace?

bless the cheese
to appease

holy cheese
that's the key

spin the cheese
out to sea

chunks of cheese
fly with ease

greener cheese
helps me breathe

summer cheese?
sweet as bees

winter cheese?

let the cheese
chase disease

sleep in cheese
never sneeze

march that cheese
my way please

stack the cheese
to my knees

I crave cheese
name the fee

wise old cheese
you got me


Jun. 21st, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
A Real Cheesy Poem
Dori; You really got my juices flowing. Another poem just bubbled out of me so here it is:

by Melody Cook

One day the farmer said to his wife,
"Farming, my dear, is a pretty good life!
There's joy in providing good things to eat,
Especially CHEESE. Yum, Yum! What a treat!
I'm off to the fields to plant and to toil."
And that's how I started ... a seed in the soil!
I grew in the sunshine; drank in the rain
And soon was a willowy stalk of ripe grain.
There I was, happily wasting my time
When a slice at my roots cut me down in my prime.
I was tumbled and bundled up tight in a bale
And thrown in the hayloft. (A dark, stuffy jail!)
I weeped and I withered and dried crisp and brown.
I was poked with a pitchfork and tossed up and down.
Then I was spread out ... in one big long row.
I baked in the sunshine; I started to glow.
Saved by the farmer and rescued from gloom
With nary a thought of impending doom.
What is that shadow that's over me now?
With a snort and a whoosh I was ate by a cow!
I was smushed up and chewed on and tuned into cud;
Mixed up with all kinds of green, slimy crud.
Infused with the flavor of sweet honey clover -
It was chew and regurgitate - over and over.
I was stirred up and blended until smooth as silk.
I was no longer grain but was fresh, creamy milk!
I was reborn! I was pure, white and clean.
I was sucked out of that cow by a milking machine.
With my fresh, wholesome goodness now flowing free,
I thanked the kind farmer for rescuing me.
The next thing I knew I was poured in a bin.
And, lo and behold, that bin started to spin.
I was tipsy and dizzy and felt warm as toast.
Whew! I was cooking ... I started to roast!
I was whirled and twirled and out spun my whey
And my curd that was left was then stacked on a tray.
I was dropped, piece by piece, in a salty,brine sea
Wondering what in the world was it doing to me.
I was drained. I was dried. Then I got a HUGE squeeze.
And that's how it happened. I'm a big HUNKY CHEESE!
Well, the farmer was smiling and proud as could be
As he happily molded and then packaged me.
"You surely will make a most wonderful treat
So a real special someone has someting to eat!"
Just what did he mean? I pondered, perplexed.
I couldn't wait to find out just what happens next.
I was placed on a shelf for the whole world to see.
And, what do you know, someone special bought me.
Soon I was chilling; got opened and sliced.
Arranged on a platter all pretty and nice.
This was my moment ... to bask in my glory.
(Though I didn't know then the outcome of my story.)
What's that I hear?
What's that chomp?
What's that munch?


NO ... NOT ME!

I just became lunch!

Jun. 22nd, 2008 06:02 pm (UTC)
Another Wisconsin entry. This one from Kathryn H.

Cheese It!

I'll say no to hamburgers, pasta and fries,
Forget about chicken, potatoes and pies.

I would not want carrots, oatmeal or peas,
Unless I could have them smothered in cheese.

A cottage cheese breakfast would hold me 'till lunch,
With an in-between snack of cheese curds to munch.

Pale wedges of Gouda and soft Colby shreds
Are gourmet delights served with crackers and breads.

I love crispy eggplant, covered with Parm,
And a side dish of goat cheese, fresh from the farm.

If you offer me pizza, the one that I'd pick
Would have mozzarella stacked two inches thick.

I'm a glad cheese-aholic, so what could it hurt
If I gulped a whole cheesecake – myself – for dessert?

Creamy Havarti and slices of Swiss,
Crumbles of feta – ah! Cheese-lovers' bliss!

Camembert, cheddar, manchego and brie,
Cheese is the food group that means most to me.

You might think I'm crazy, but I'd say instead,
That I'm proud to be known as a True Bleu Cheese Head!

Jun. 22nd, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
From JoAnn M.

Choose Cheese!

Searching for the perfect food? A
wise choice would be nutty gouda.
For a party, brunch, or tea,
how about a soft, smooth brie?

Tomato soup needs cubes of cheddar.
Cream cheese makes a bagel better.
Then you really ought to try
feta in a spinach pie.

Served with crackers on a plate,
gorgonzola is first rate!
And, indeed, you’ll never miss
with a holey wedge of Swiss.

So if you want a scrumptious treat—
not too subtle, not too sweet—
for casserole, soufflé, or stew,
choose a cheese to chop and chew!
Jun. 22nd, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
From Denice M.

Moose & Monterey Jack

A mouse named Moose made a bet with the Goose

That he could spring Farmer Fred’s trusty mousetrap

“Go ahead,” Goose honked with a gleam in her eye.

At stake was a chunk of Wisconsin cheddar.

Moose sharpened his tools and cracked his knuckles.

Then he called for all to be silent.

But the barn door slammed and everyone gasped

As a mouse with a moustache appeared!

Who are you? Moose asked.

“I’m Jack” he replied. “I’ve come from Monterey , California .”

“Well, Jack,” said Moose, “This cheddar is mine. But I’ll give you a nibble or two.”

Jack couldn’t wait.

He raced to the trap.

Stop! Oh no!


Moose lost his bet with the Goose that day

And born was the legend of Monterey Jack.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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